a rainy day

As my alarm went off my body awoke to a heaviness. It reminded me of the dreadful mornings after a generous dose of cough medicine or alcohol from the night before. But what made me particularly uneasy was the terrible mood I was in. A minute ago I was sleeping, unaware of the world but once awake I held contempt in my heart. 

I reluctantly rolled off my bed and brought myself under the shower. Perhaps the warm water would soothe my stiff muscles and the warm steam dilute hostilities. 

I was wrong. My hideous mood had already latched itself onto my heart. I turned into a grumpy, tired, cynical man who lamented about the foolish world. I didn't want to talk with anyone. At church, I couldn't focus because my mind was racing with ideas of how horrible mankind was. When people asked how I was, I simply replied with a "I'm really tired"and immediately eyed something just beyond their shoulders. That ended conversations quickly and safely. Thoughts unfortunately are like a spiraled staircase and one can choose to go up or down it. I chose to run down.

When I returned home, I went to bed. I was indeed tired and I thought a nap would help my pitiful state. Sleep does a lot to renew a person but it certainly does not change one's mood. So, for the next three hours, I tossed and turned, dreaming about the cruelty of man. 

What is one to do when the world looks so dim and pathetic? 

Once awake, I decided to take a walk and go grocery shopping. I wasn't excited about it but it was better than mulling over the character of people. Perhaps I could cook dinner for everyone and that would allow my mind to rest. 

Walking back home with groceries in hand, I sensed that I was better than I had been all day. As I began to think about the good things in life, I thought I had heard someone pour out a bucket of water from their balcony. Naturally I looked up and was surprised with a large, round drop of water to my eye. I wiped my eyes and looked around and began to see dark circles forming on the sidewalk and the road. It was going to rain. The streets were being pelted by raindrops the size of hail and all I could do was smile. I was going to get wet and there was nothing I could do about it. I decided to enjoy it. 

The rain began to wash away the contempt I had nurtured throughout the day. The smell of rain comforted me. The beauty of the rain subdued my ungrateful heart so I could once again think clearly and find the courage to appreciate the people in my life. I was going to win this battle for joy.